I’m losing patience with myself. I’m trying to love myself more but i don’t feel like I can because I don’t have the courage and the support I would like. I let people i care about affect me the worst. I just want to be understood in the way that he can’t. Constantly I’m hiding behind a facade because he wont understand me fully. he proved it last night and today. so i understand that i cant be the person that i am now. the person that i’ve grown to be over the years. the person groomed by unfortunate events and living situations. so how do i keep a relationship? sacrifice. i’m sacrificing everything, because i know that i cant do better. if i could, i wouldn’t have this as my journal. i want to channel everything i have into better positive thoughts and mold myself into a better me. it’s very tiring, but in the end you really only have yourself. you really do.. i’m going to this interview and call a potential job back. i have new-found light, i’m just wondering how long will it shine.